Questions on Tick-Tock - part 2

1. THREE ACT STRUCTURE

- Where do the acts begin and end?
- What is the inciting moment (transition from Act 1 [exposition] to Act 2 [action])?
- What is the function of the "singing to the muzak" scene?
- What is the function of the "disarming training bomb" scene?
- How is the information about Crosby's condition fed to the reader?

2. TRANSITIONS AND EDITING

Can you visualise what the following would look like on screen?

- bridge



- transition










3. LOOKING FOR MEANINGFUL VILLAIN

The main problem with this script is how late James in introduced. All we know about him for the bulk of the story is the following:





and later this:




And then we learn that he has been behind the explosions. Why? He is kind enough to explain:



It doesn't work because we need to give the reader/audience exposition on:
- why he is doing it
- how he managed to do it
- how Crosby got caught in the events

Here it is done in the most unimaginable way possible - dialogue or rather his monologue which offers the explanation.

To make matters worse his motive is cliched and rather boring. Instead of an extremist terrorist doing it because of his radical beliefs or a psycho on a revenge mission, we have a boring stalker with mental problems. Too tame.

And on top of that the audience learns the truth too late and doesn't have enough time to grow to hate the villain. We don't have any feelings for him, so we don't really care.


YOUR TASK: Think of one of the following alternatives:

1) James IS the villain, but he's introduced earlier. All the exposition about him needs to be planted throughout the script, and ideally by showing, not telling.

This can be your inspiration:

ONE OF THE BEST SCENES YOU CAN WRITE
One might argue that the most memorable scene in Die Hard is when Hans pretends to be a hostage. Part of the reason we love this scene so much is because it’s such a clever move by our villain. But this is actually a setup for a scene that works almost every time you use it in a screenplay: We the audience know something that our main character doesn’t - that he’s in danger - and there’s nothing we can do to help him. The tension this creates in a scene – the helplessness we feel - works on an audience almost every time, so if you have the opportunity to use it, do so. Just make sure we like your hero. Obviously, if we don’t, we won’t be too worried when he’s seconds away from getting a bullet in the chest.

Here Carson is talking about a situation when the reader is omniscient. Could work in Tick Tock, but you have to remember that it cannot diminish in any way the character journey of Crosby - so we can't have such scene too early in the script.

2) James is not the villain; or he is, but he's not the MASTERMIND behind the bombs.

Remember this bit?



Maybe something could be done with this mysterious character? Revenge is a good motive. And it is more plausible that he would know enough about Claire's job to prepare this complex plan.

3. Or we could go for the most risky (and ambitious) option in which Crosby IS the bomber...


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